Guying Around Profile: The Aussie Bloke

In this feature, I will highlight different Guying Around Profiles. That means I will write about different people whom I have met through my travels that are unique and worth sharing about. Some of these different people might sound unbelievable, but trust me they are 100 percent real.

This is my second installment of “Guying Around Guy Profiles” and this will be a little bit different than my first post. In my first post, I focused on one of the most influential Guying Around characters I know, The Rasta Man. This post I will focus on a bigger picture, painting the best picture I can of the creature known as “The Aussie Bloke”. I have a lot of experience Guying Around with these animals. If you have ever backpacked Europe or stayed in a hostel, you have run into these guys. Again, these are through my experiences with these Blokes, comment or write to me if you have different thoughts.

Aussie Blokes are like no other blokes on the planet, if you’re unfamiliar with the word “bloke”, it’s the UBK (United British Kingdom) way of saying “dude”. They love to Guy Around and travel, I think this is what sets them apart from other groups of guys. Most Aussie Blokes take time after “Uni” or “Secondary School” to travel Europe, Asia, or the states for an extended period of time. For all of the Aussie Blokes that I’ve met, the sheer distance Australia is from everything pushes them to make these trips into month long ordeals. The amount of time you can Guy Around on a month long backpack trip around Europe is unparalleled.

Aussie Blokes are not always down to travel, but they are definitely down to “get on the piss” any time of the day when they travel. “Oi mate, wheres tha baaaaar?”  Aussie Blokes love slinging back Guy Soda’s (lagers, ales, ciders, any variation) anytime and anywhere. Grab a cold Victoria Bitter, put in a good old “stubbie holder” (koozie for the Americans) and you’re set. Through my experience, the best way to connect to an Aussie Bloke is to have a pint somewhere. Going back to the phrase “get on the piss”, which is an Aussie Bloke classic saying. I try to do my best and spread this iconic phrase, wherever I Guy Around.

Out of my many interactions with Aussie Blokes, I had a few memorable ones that have shaped the way I think about the Aussie Bloke species. A few years back I was a part of a Contiki, which is a travel company that originated in Australia.

I was on a trip island hopping in Croatia with about 30 Aussies, mostly blokes.  I think on our very first night I was introduced to a “shoeie”, a classic Aussie Bloke drinking weapon that every Aussie Bloke carries in his drinking holster. It’s a simple concept, you take off one of your own shoes, pour a beer in your shoe and chug the beer out of the shoe. You never want to use anyone else’s shoe, that’s just downright disgusting! The “shoeie” is a classic while a “thongie” is a new age Guy Soda chugging mechanism. Aussie Blokes refer to sandals or flip flops as thongs.  Similar to a shoeie, you take your thong, fold it in half longways and use it as a funnel to pour Guy Soda down to chug. Again, you use your own thong, you wouldn’t want to chug beer out of anyone else’s right?

On that boat trip I also ran into a few authentic Aussie Blokes, that Guyed Around from start to finish. A Bloke named “Daniel”, Guyed Around too much one night and passed out on a bench. The boat left the next day at 6 am without him, luckily he found his way to the next island. Textbook “I Guyed Around too hard and ended up on this bench” moment. The ring leader and Aussie Bloke Mt. Rushmore nominee was a guy named “Clint”. This Bloke quit his job, used his savings to go on a 6 month Guy Around tour of the world. All of these Aussie Blokes are, I haven’t met one bad apple in my years of Guying Around abroad.

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The Aussie Bloke is a unique creature, one that sometimes strays far away from its natural habitat down under. If you ever encounter one of these animals, make sure you buy the first round of Guy Sodas and prepare for debauchery. I hope my write up and analysis of the Aussie Bloke can help you if you are planning a trip really anywhere in the world. They literally travel anywhere, you will probably run into some Aussie Blokes on your next trip. So if you run into one of them, you better Guy Around.

 

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